by Mark Moses, Entrepreneur and CEO Coach at CEO Coaching International
Today, on Valentine’s Day, there’s no better time to focus on your romantic relationship. Improving your athletic performance, business growth, and relationships are all driven by the questions you ask yourself. Asking better questions drives better results over time. Spend some time on Valentine’s Day to honestly answer these questions and recommit to building the relationship of your dreams this year. Do you have the relationship you really want?
Research from Harvard School of Medicine has shown that improving the quality of our relationships keeps us happier, physically healthier and protects our brain throughout life. Yet, in working with the world’s top entrepreneurs, I’ve seen many successful CEOs let their marriages flounder while they focus on work. From Tiger Woods to Bill Clinton, we’ve seen top performers fail as a result of personal relationship issues.
On the contrary, we all know that we’re able to achieve greater goals when we’re backed by the people we love. Make Big Happen is actually dedicated to my wife, Ivette, who has supported me on every step of the journey. Studies show that happiness tends to be contagious too, and the happier our spouses are, the happier we end up. By building a better relationship, we find greater happiness, which leads to improved performance in other areas.
Make Big Happen is all about asking the right questions. Don’t be afraid to ask provocative questions to build a better relationship. What’s the one thing you should stop doing in your marriage? What’s the one thing you should start doing? If you were trying to steal your spouse away from someone else, how would you compete?
Download the worksheet for yourself and your partner and ask the four Make Big Happen questions today to build a better relationship:
What do you want in your relationship?
Is your relationship as exciting, passionate, and loving as you want it to be? Do you wish there was more spontaneity, humor, or sex? Do you want to spend better quality time together or travel more? Visualize exactly how your ideal relationship looks. Create a detailed image of your dream marriage with intense clarity and focus.
What do you have to do?
Which specific actions do you need to take to move from where you are to where you want to be? What are the five most important things you could do for your relationship this year? Do you need to book a romantic getaway? Should you commit to spending more time at home? Identify the steps you need to take to create your dream relationship.
What could get in the way?
What is most likely to derail your progress? What has kept you from reaching your goals in the past? Anticipate the challenges that you will face and develop a strategy for overcoming them. Do you mean well by planning romantic trips, then end up working the whole time? Are your well-intentioned dates turned stressful by fights about the kids? How can you anticipate the issues that may come up and avoid them?
How do you hold yourself accountable?
Many of us seek success in our relationships but find them more difficult to measure than our businesses. But without measurement, you can’t identify what is working or hold yourself accountable. Take stock of your relationship as it is right now. How would your rate it on a scale of one to ten? How would you rate your communication, passion, and happiness?
Choose the five factors that matter most to you and give yourself a score. If you find that you and your spouse deeply connect over shared adventures, how do you rate your adventures over the past year? How can you improve your score for next year?
Set a date to hold yourself accountable, perhaps on Valentine’s Day or your anniversary. Without regularly measuring your success on a regular basis, you won’t make progress towards your goals. Be sure to celebrate incremental improvements and give yourself credit for your success.
This article is adapted from Make Big Happen. Order it here, or learn more by visiting makebighappenbook.com.
About Mark Moses
Mark Moses is the Founding Partner of CEO Coaching International. CEO Coaching International coaches 100 of the world’s top high-growth entrepreneurs and CEO’s. They coach them on how to dramatically grow their revenues & profits, implement the most effective strategy, becoming a better leader, grow their people, build accountability systems and elevate their own performance. Mark has won Ernst & Young’s Entrepreneur of the Year award and the Blue Chip Enterprise award for overcoming adversity. His last company ranked #1 Fastest-Growing Company in Los Angeles as well as #10 on the Inc. 500 of fastest growing private companies in the U.S. He has completed 12 full distance Ironman Triathlons including the Hawaii Ironman World Championship 5 times.